Sometimes changes come fast. Sometimes slow. Sometimes its welcomed and sometimes it’s dreaded. Whatever the circumstance it’s almost always an adjustment.

For me it’s never an easy one. The winds Of change never blow towards me but against me. Often my way of approach is to hibernate through the change of seasons only to reappear once the frost is gone. Pretend my world is the only world and the fearsome outside disappears until I’m ready to re-emerge

The only problem is when dealing with an addiction or a loved one with addiction their world permeates yours. Recently I have had the misfortune of dealing with an addiction not by one of my own but someone else closely related to my life.

My patience has been tested far beyond what I’ve had to have with my own loved ones. Seeing the complete devastation one human being can cause to the most innocent of victims. Damaging the innermost makeup of one’s personality and identity is disturbing. I’ve had to watch children deal with abandonment. The selfish acts of putting drugs before their well-being. Simple things like food, clean clothes, and a warm bed every night are a treat instead of a staple of life. Being taught values and morals are replaced with disrespect and withdrawal. These children are merely surviving instead of living. Being allowed to be adults instead of having the right to be kids. It’s a sad reality and one I have had to sit back and watch for months now has led me to the conclusion that our addicts are not the most significant casualty. It is the innocent ones that are thrown aside to wade through the trash they’ve left behind.

How selfish and self serving you became. Once upon a time you were an innocent babe. Happily ignorant to the madness of this world. your gift to yours???? Sharing your knowledge and dysfunction. Making sure your reality becomes theirs. Offering the only thing you can. Fear Insecurity, loneliness. Teaching the only thing you know. Disrespect, entitlement and deception. Showing them the person you have become. Self centered, unreliable and uncaring.

Congratulations you have passed on the best of your qualities to ensure that yours are just as un-equipped to handle life as you are.

As hard as we will try to stop the cycle you have started I find myself wanting to hibernate once more. Turn my head to the wall and sleep till the sun comes up again.

Then again maybe it’s time someone shine a light on the darkness you left them in!!!

TO HANG ON WE MUST LET GO…..