I have read many blogs on drug abuse and what the addict and their families go through. I have found great resources in those blogs. When I decided to start my blog, I wanted my message to be raw and real. I wanted anyone who reads it to feel what it’s like to be in your addict’s rock bottom. I wanted it not to be so much informative but preferably understanding. I wanted anyone who read it to be able to see I’ve been there too, I’ve done that too. And in that find some comfort we are just human. We do the best we can. We fail, and we strive for better, but often we are barely hanging on.

Our days are not automatically filled with sunshine. We do not wake up looking forward to another day but dread how it will unfold. We are exhausted before we ever get started and our only solace is knowing this day will end.

Our nights are worse. If we’re brave enough to have our phones on actually looking at it sends a terror through us that chills our core. What will we find when we turn that phone over? When we listen to that voicemail? The demons that surround us at night all most makes us pray for daylight only to have the pattern repeat over and over again.
No event or special day is sheltered from the storm of our addicts. They can produce damage and debris in there wrath. They will turn happy moments that should be memories into nightmares. We are left in the wake to clean up and recover as much of ourselves as we can, but mostly we are shells of who we were vaguely going through the motions of normal life.
Our existence depends on their survival.
Here is the way we live — loving and hating.  Hoping and wishing one day, our lives will get better as they get sober and never giving up on seeing the sun again.