New year new ME!

That’s our hope anyway. Often even with the best of intentions we continue to follow the same patterns. WHY??? Cause even in dysfunction we find normalcy, even in the chaos we find comfort. When what we’ve know for so long is gone we don’t know how to live.

As much as we want out of this hell we’ve endured and continue to battle, it is our lives. For many of us it’s a life we can’t pull away from because to do that means breaking away from our babies who are still fighting.

I know for me I couldn’t leave them in it. I couldn’t walk away no matter how hard, how destructive or how much it consumed me I just couldn’t walk away. For me that meant failure as a mom but in reality walking away is not a failure. You have not failed them. You have not failed yourself. You have finally realized that to save anyone means detaching.

So we look for reasons. The next relapse, I’m done! The next jail stint, I’m done! the next disrespect, I’m done!! Are we ever done?? No instead we misinterpret living our lives for forsaking theirs.

Wanting peace is not leaving them powerless. Wanting love is not leaving them alone. Wanting ourselves is not rejecting them. It’s choosing how we respect their choices to live while allowing ourselves to have the same choice.

For 2023 I pray each and every one of us who has faced and still facing this beast that is Addiction chooses to allow love over fear. Respect over insolence. Peace over chaos.

To hang on we must let go!