Some days I do ok remembering I am important too. It’s ok to take care of just me. Most days I struggle with that concept.

It’s a tug of war between my heart and my mind. I can silence my mind and follow my heart. Or ignore my heart and listen to my mind. Either way its a complex struggle that goes on between the two.  It comes with doubts, bargaining and fear. Its influences me daily and for the basic of needs it keeps me from taking care of the one person I can….ME!! 

It taunts me with guilt: If I eat I think has he eaten.? Uses fear: If I’m warm I worry he’s not. Teases me with doubt: If I feel loved I am scared he doesn’t. These thoughts have a relentless hold on me and make daily survival for myself almost impossible but my resilience for him is steadfast and reliable.

Today I am struggling and forgetting to think of my needs, I am consumed in my heart and threatened in my mind. I will use my tools to cope and remember a lot of times IT’S A FEELING NOT A FACT and will give myself permission to take care of me… just for this moment and hopefully many more.