Life continues to roll tide. One minute you have the illusion of peace, and the next, the reality of confusion.

There was a time when I lived in tomorrows: I now yearn for yesterday. Where loss was not at every turn.Where goodbyes were not around every corner

Though I am courageously walking through these changing seasons, it is not without fear. It exists and is my constant companion hiding just behind the mask. Tears fall, but no one glimpses. Cries tell, but no one listens. Sadness and rage envelop me, but no one notices.

If ever before I felt such profound grief, it was not until now that I understood loss. Anguish starts before the defeat. Sorrow begins with the downfall. Desperation builds in the onset. Long before the circumstance, you feel the consequences.

To never recognize the moments before they would become the memories after is the cruelest of realizations. These days I question what matters and realize it’s all relevant.

Does it make a difference not really!! With or without understanding it occurs. With or without acceptance, it ensues. With or without change, it happens!!