Today as I drove my son back from rehabilitation for his brain injury he asked why this happened to him? What is the reason? Knowing how quickly he would lose that thought. I took a few seconds to think how can I answer this that would make sense and maybe give the resolution I know he seeks.

So I asked him why can’t an addict live without drugs? Of course, the answer was because I’m an addict, So I expanded the question, once you come out of addiction, why is it so hard to live in a drugless world? He just sat there thinking. Finally, after several moments of silence, he said, “we don’t know how to.”

That is when I saw my opportunity to have a sincere conversation with my son, not the addict. I explained that once an addict starts using drug’s they are no longer able to learn life lessons. The things that would naturally be taught by trial and error are missed opportunities to learn. Without those occasions to learn, you never get to the reasons why and without the reason why there is no motive to change the behavior.

We expect the addict to suddenly not be an addict once the substance is gone and abruptly start living as we do. Think and function as if the blueprint of life has been laid before them.

Addicts have to relearn or rather learn all the things they missed. When life seems too hard after trying sobriety they go back to what they know “drugs”.

Made sense to my son so therefore I told him the answer to your question is. Within the struggle you will learn a lesson and in that, you will find the reason.