Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one. I think in so many ways parents of addicts are examples of courage. We face the most unimaginable situations. We look pain and fear in the face and combat it with love and understanding.  We are masters at holding our stance against the enemy and waging a long tedious battle against the war of addiction. We are terrified but stand firm and face what most could not even conceive.

I think courage and action are necessary,  to do one without the other is futile.  I  have taken an active role in my son’s relapses and recoveries paving his way not letting him discover his own passage out so now I wonder if that is where my mistakes were? Was the opportunity to learn by failure given to him?  The most important tool I could have equipped him with I am afraid I denied him.

Lately, I question if I’m showing my son the same courage as I did early in his addiction. Have I gotten complacent due to my own hurt in his struggle and tried to use the same strategies that clearly no longer work? As addiction changes maybe it’s time to change the armor. Find new weapons and rally my strength in the face of pain and grief.  Its ok to recognize I can’t obtain this for him. It is and always has been his right to prevail.

So now my courage will have to take a different fork in the road. Travel a separate but parallel path.  Overcome my own shadows and hidden dangers to allow him to face his. Accept that courage comes in different forms and the struggle to do the right thing sometimes means doing nothing.